Bremen sociologist criticizes silence about female violence in families and says: "Figures about violent men are misleading"
Hamburg? Men are apparently far more likely to be victims of violent women than is generally known. Sociology professor Gerhard Amendt, head of the Institute for Gender and Generational Research at the University of Bremen, even comes to the conclusion in an interview with the men's lifestyle magazine "Men's Health" (issue 10/2008, EVT September 17, 2008) that "women hit more often in relationships than men"? and thereby shakes up a social taboo.
He doubts information from the Federal Ministry for Family Affairs that 95 percent of all domestic crimes are committed by men against women.
"The numbers that are used here in Germany usually come from women's advice centers or houses for battered women, which they have put together quite randomly from their own work. This is extrapolated to the population, and politicians then willingly swallow it. The Numbers are not representative, they are misleading," says Amendt, who continues to criticize the fact that international research results are simply hushed up in Germany. “There is a strong tendency in our society to simply ignore the violent sides of women,” Amendt explains.
"Violence between partners is supposedly only male - there shouldn't be anything else." According to the sociologist, this taboo means that only a minority of the men affected speak openly about their wives' violence. "Some people act as if their partner's beatings didn't hurt them," says Amendt. "The next day they secretly go to the doctor with broken ribs. However, the physical pain is usually less painful than the fact that the woman hit. This expresses condescension and, on top of that, assumes that you can't talk to a man."
Many men are “desperate because of this” and “simply bury their experience inside themselves,” says the expert. Those affected are comparable “to the women of the 1950s”.
"They experience violence from their partner and remain silent about it - ashamed, like society as a whole." But silence actually promotes violence against women, warns Amendt. "These men do n't know what they're doing when they deny their pain. They make the woman hit harder and harder because she usually wants her partner to talk. However, women don't always hit just because they want to hit the man "They want to make him talk, but also because they want to silence him. There are endless variations," explains the sociology professor.
In order to specifically help the men affected out of isolation, there must be “completely new advice centers,” demands Amendt. However, Germany is still a long way from that. “As long as the leading federal family policy is actively involved in denying female violence in the family, it is difficult to imagine,” sums up the sociology professor, but at the same time does not give up hope: “I think that in the next few years the turning point will come."
Here is the complete interview with gender and generation researcher Gerhard Amendt:
A man is beaten by his wife.
He calls the police, who evict him from the apartment. How can something like that be? In this case, according to the Violence Protection Act, the woman would have to leave.
However, in our society there is a strong tendency to simply ignore the violent sides of women. Violence between partners is supposedly only male? there must be nothing else. Does this mean that female violence is hushed up? You don't see what international research shows, which is that women hit more often than men in relationships. The fact that no one takes note of these scientific results is a political problem. It is significant that there is no money in this country for research into male experiences of violence in the domestic sphere.
But there are also numbers about it.
Where are they from? The numbers used here in Germany usually come from women's advice centers or houses for battered women, which they have put together quite randomly from their own work.
This is extrapolated to the population, and politicians then willingly swallow it. The numbers are not representative, they are misleading. In Germany, the whole debate is so fearful that no one in politics or science dares to ask where the numbers that give rise to prejudices about men come from.
How do the men affected deal with this violence?
Completely individual. Some people act as if their partner's beatings don't hurt them. The next day they secretly go to the doctor with broken ribs. However, the physical aspect usually hurts less than the fact that the woman struck. This expresses condescension and also assumes that you can't talk to a man. Many men are therefore desperate.
According to the motto: Indian heart knows no pain?
Exactly. And these men don't know what they're doing when they deny their pain. They make the woman hit it harder and harder because she usually wants her partner to talk. However, women don't always hit just because they want to get the man to talk, but also because they want to silence him. There are endless variations.
Who can battered men turn to?
There are no specialized contact points for this.
Many men go to the youth welfare office, especially if their partner also beats the children. They often have bad experiences there. Our research reports on comparable experiences at social welfare offices or family support offices in the communities. Many men simply bury their experience inside themselves. But more and more people are also talking openly about their partner's violence.
Why are there so few?
Primarily out of shame, but also because there is no advice.
Until now, society and the courts have viewed these men as weak and have not believed them. Or men see that their peers have negative experiences with it and don't want to expose themselves to it too. It is obvious that this does not help the relationship with its violence problem. You have to remember one thing: going public brings women attention and they receive material and emotional support. As alleged victims, this improves their chances if family law disputes arise over the children. Men do not yet experience the solidarity of society. You are comparable to the women of the 1950s: you experience violence from your partner and remain silent about it? ashamed, like society as a whole.
What could contact points look like for men who have experienced domestic violence?
In the USA we no longer discuss violence by men or women, but rather we talk about violence in families.
Because it has been shown that when parents beat each other, the children are also beaten? and they'll hit back at some point. We therefore need completely new facilities where families who have experienced violence can receive professional help. Children, men and women can go there? or, best of all, the whole family. For this we need completely new advice centers.
Do you think there will be such offers here in Germany at some point?
As long as the leading federal family policy actively participates in the denial of female violence in the family, it is difficult to imagine. But I think there will be a turning point here in the next few years? like currently in the USA.
Men's Health/ September 17, 2008