Nicole Althaus in the Tagesanzeiger from October 29, 2009
Imagine the following: You are on vacation, somewhere on a pretty lake you have rented a house with a family friend, you are enjoying the last warm days of the year, strolling through the autumn forest with the children, you are making a fire and taking photos, including one in the bathroom that shows the children playing naked and exuberantly in the tub. After returning home, take your memory stick to a photo shop and have selected images printed on photo paper. A few hours later the police ring, arrest you and charge you with sexual abuse.
That's exactly what happened to Lisa and Anthony Demaree of Arizona last year. They were subsequently acquitted, but were not allowed to see their children abuse allegations Last month they a lawsuit against the store that embarrassed them over the so-called pornographic photos.
Before the anti-America faction makes fun of the USA's immoral morals again and dismisses what happened as an absurd aberration by a notorious plaintiff nation, I would like to tell you the story of a Swiss father who, among other things, attacked his now 9-year-old daughter because of bathtub photos For two years she was only allowed to see someone accompanied. It wasn't a photo shop that brought the abuse allegations against him, but rather his wife. I met the father, a programmer, while researching a story about shared custody. His wife had raised suspicions of child abuse when they couldn't agree on child support payments. Although the evidence did not convince the judge, abuse is an official offense and the authorities must initiate an investigation. She commissioned a report from a child psychologist, questioned the father's environment, restricted his visitation rights and placed him under supervision. Today the father sees his daughter again regularly every other weekend and individual holiday weeks, all allegations have been refuted - but the suspicion has stuck with him. Til today.
Unfortunately, such abuse of abuse is not an isolated case. A few years ago, Zurich legal circles spoke of a 40 percent increase in allegations in divorce proceedings since 1995. Since then, the way authorities have dealt with allegations of abuse, especially in cities and agglomerations, has become more professional and the dangerous trend is declining, as my research showed yesterday. But it still occurs. Because the accusation of abuse is ruthlessly efficient. He puts the fathers on ice for a long time. And it influences divorce proceedings . The only study in this area comes from Germany and is unfortunately already ten years old. But their results speak for themselves: According to her, 42 percent of all allegations of abuse in custody or access cases are extremely vague, 92 percent turn out to be unfounded, but they influence the judges in 42 percent of all cases examined.
Raising society's awareness of child abuse and pedophilia is important and right. But the downside of this appears to be a tendency to suspect an evil pedophile around every corner. That is fatal. Not just for affected divorced fathers or teachers, but also for actual victims of abuse. And has consequences for all fathers . Because anyone who has to live with the fear that their relationship with their own children could one day be dissected by the police, psychologists and judges lives in constant self-censorship. At least that's how a father friend of mine described his physical contact with his little boy to me. A bath with the child? Too dangerous for him . Since he has been separated from his mother, he only gets into the bathtub with his daughter in his swimming trunks, if at all. Another father confessed that he always calls his girlfriend when his daughter's diaper area is sore and needs to be applied with lotion.
Have we become paranoid because of all the sensitization?