Observer – “The Last Refuge”

I just read the article mentioned today.

First of all, I would like to thank you for raising the issue of domestic violence. I think it is important that these topics are discussed in society; the number of unreported cases of such cases is far too high.

However, I have to sharply criticize your article. Once again, domestic violence is equated with male violence. Domestic violence is an inexcusable crime but it is not a male problem but a human problem. There are numerous scientific studies that show that women also become perpetrators and men become victims. Studies in Germany (Gerhard Amendt and Michael Bock) assume that female perpetrators are up to 50%. Swiss studies also speak of around 20% female perpetrators.

Unfortunately, this page is always left out. The victims of this female violence become victims a second time, namely when no one believes them, no one notices them and, above all, no one helps them.

They give 3 examples of women who were beaten by their husbands. I can easily bring you 10 cases of men who experienced violence from their partners. By the way, I am also one of them. I can tell you from my own experience how much a man feels left alone in this situation.

You go on to tell how the affected women took refuge in the women's shelter - where do you think an affected man should flee?
The answer is often that he can go. But it is precisely the fear for the children that makes many women stay with their violent husbands. And it is precisely this fear that makes men stay with their wives in the opposite case. They could probably go, but they would have to leave the children behind. And no woman would leave her children with a violent man - no man would leave her children with a woman in the opposite case!

But there are no rescue organizations for men in this situation - no women's shelter, no advice centers. The police and victim support appear bored, don't feel responsible or simply declare that it's your own fault. The original tone of a police officer when I reported this was "Go home and sort it out like a man!" Whatever he meant by that!

I would like to see a little more balanced reporting, especially from the Observer. I think the Observer is an excellent newspaper and would therefore very much like to read an article about domestic violence in which the male victims' side is also taken into account.

By the way, the reference to the manne office is almost cynical. In the best case scenario, this is exactly where the authorities will direct you if you report yourself as a desperate victim. You can probably imagine how you feel when, looking for help, you come to a website that says: "The manne office züri advises men who use violence against their partners."