Observer – “The last refuge”

I only read the article mentioned today.

First of all, I would like to thank you for addressing the issue of domestic violence. I think it is important that these topics are discussed in society; the number of unreported cases is far too high.

Nevertheless, I must strongly criticize your article. Once again, domestic violence is equated with male violence. Domestic violence is an inexcusable crime, but it is not a male problem; it is a human one. Numerous scientific studies demonstrate that women also become perpetrators and men become victims. Studies in Germany (Gerhard Amendt and Michael Bock) suggest that female perpetrators account for up to 50% of cases. Swiss studies also indicate that around 20% of perpetrators are women.

This aspect is unfortunately always omitted. The victims of this female violence are thus victimized a second time, namely when no one believes them, no one acknowledges their plight, and above all, no one helps them.

You cite three examples of women who were beaten by their husbands. I could easily give you ten cases of men who have experienced violence at the hands of their partners. I myself am one of them, by the way. I can tell you from my own experience how alone a man feels in this situation.

They go on to explain how the women sought refuge in women's shelters – where do you think a man in such a situation should flee to?
The common response is that he could leave. But it's precisely the fear for their children that keeps many women with their abusive partners. And it's exactly this fear that, conversely, also compels men to stay with their partners. They could leave, but they would have to abandon their children. And no woman would leave her children with an abusive man – just as no man would leave his wife in the same situation!

But for men in this situation, there are no support organizations – no women's shelter, no counseling centers. The police and victim support services act deliberately bored, feel no responsibility, or simply declare you "to blame yourself." The exact words of one police officer in response to my report were, "Go home and sort it out like a man!" Whatever he meant by that!

I would appreciate more balanced reporting from the Beobachter. I consider the Beobachter an excellent newspaper and would therefore very much like to read an article about domestic violence that also considers the perspective of male victims.

Incidentally, the reference to the "mannebüro" (men's office) is almost cynical. That's precisely where authorities refer you, at best, if you report yourself as a desperate victim. You can probably imagine how you feel when, in your search for help, you stumble upon a website that says: "The mannebüro Zurich advises men who use violence against their partners.".