More time with dad

Why men are important in education by Sebastian Bröder

They change infants, push strollers, and go to parents' evenings. The world of fathers is changing. Educational scientists even speak of a gentle revolution in the concept of fatherhood. Unlike previous generations, the so-called "new fathers" accompany their partners to birth preparation courses and to the delivery room. 91 percent of German men now attend the birth of their child. And two thirds see themselves primarily as educators for their children and no longer primarily as breadwinners. Instead of being limited to the role of material provider, they want to be a full-fledged caregiver for their children.

Science proves them right: fathers have great importance for the development of their offspring. A long-term study in the USA has shown that they have a direct influence on their children's career choices, self-esteem and social behavior. Psychologists emphasize the father's function as a male identification figure and attest to him playing a decisive role in the development of the gender role, especially in their sons.

The consequences of the absence of fathers
Other studies look at the possible consequences of the absence of fathers: it was found that children born during war who had contact with their father in the first six years of life are significantly less vulnerable to adulthood mental illnesses than their peers who grew up fatherless due to the war. And fathers also seem to have an influence on their children's performance: nine-month-old children were observed by psychologists in free play. The scientists consistently rated those who received equal care from both parents as more developed.

Not better, but different
Fathers treat their children differently than mothers. They therefore represent a supplement that – to put it simply – expands the children's horizons, enriches them with certain experiences and benefits their development.

Women and men differ even when it comes to dealing with newborns: mothers, for example, maintain very close physical contact with their baby, while fathers approach the infant in a more distant and playful manner. They make faces or stimulate the baby with sounds and movements. Just sitting there with your child in your arms doesn't seem to suit men.

This continues as the children get older: Whether throwing a ball, climbing trees or riding a bike – dad is responsible for sports and games. Fathers emphasize motor skills and physicality much more than mothers. They run around with their children, organize small sporting competitions and promote independence. They differentiate between boys and girls very early on: they are more gentle, cautious and helpful towards their daughters; Fathers are more demanding and less compliant towards their sons.

Not quantity, but quality
Let's say: fathers do good for their children. But that is also a fact: the societal and social conditions for reconciling earning money and raising children are not yet right. However, new fathers who are heavily involved in their careers may be comforted by one result of the long-term study from the USA mentioned at the beginning: When fathers are involved with their offspring, quality trumps quantity. It's the "perceived presence" that counts, so it's better to do it intensively once rather than frequently.

Intensive could, for example, mean that father and child play together or discuss a problem without time pressure (and without the father doing anything else at the same time!). Intensive also means that dad doesn't turn into an unknown weekend creature: For example, he should explain to his children what he does for a living. In this way, he lets his child participate in his life and offers insights into the time when he is not at home. Conversely, it is important to give children the feeling that their father is interested in their lives: Does he know the name of his son's best friend? Or what shows his daughter likes to watch on television?

And: When the new fathers engage with their offspring, they also have an indirect effect. They relieve the burden on the mothers involved. And a balanced “new mother” is definitely only good for her children.