Observer 23/05 of November 10, 2005 by Edit Lier
In nine out of ten divorce cases, the mother is awarded sole custody. This means she has the power to determine how often the father sees the child – a power that is often abused.
| Everyone talks about the best interests of the child, even when they're talking past the child's actual well-being. "The term is worn out, hackneyed, and therefore almost unusable," says CVP National Councillor Reto Wehrli. He advocates for parents to automatically receive joint custody in divorce cases. The word "best interests of the child" appeared only once in the corresponding motion he submitted to the National Council: in a direct quote.
The motion was referred to the Federal Council by a large majority during this autumn session. However, proponents and opponents clashed like quarreling spouses in a bitter divorce. The dismissive stance of the otherwise progressive SP women's trio Jacqueline Fehr, Anita Thanei, and Ruth-Gaby Vermot-Mangold, in particular, provoked head-shaking within their own party (see accompanying article "Chantal Galladé: Parents always remain parents, even after a divorce"). There's no question: Joint custody remains a contentious issue. Free rein for revenge: “Under the current regulations, mothers effectively have a veto right, which fathers perceive as a key power factor in contentious separation and divorce proceedings,” observes Markus Theunert. His position as president of männer.ch, the umbrella organization of Swiss men’s and fathers’ associations, is that disagreeing parents should at least be able to compete on a level playing field. His association, together with the Federation of Swiss Women’s Organizations, alliance F, aims to contribute to a gender-democratic and politically sound solution. Next summer, the organizers will jointly invite experts to an interdisciplinary conference. Sibylle Burger-Bono, president of alliance F and a divorce lawyer with twelve years of experience, emphasizes: “We want to depoliticize the discussion and not pit women against men.” French-speaking Switzerland has it better. At the guardianship authority of the city of Zurich, granting joint parental custody is a daily occurrence – and the trend is rising. Last year, 255 couples were granted joint custody; the previous year, the number was 201. Now science is set to help “Children’s needs, such as care, visitation rights, and custody, as well as the children’s perspective, are the focus of our study,” explains Heidi Simoni, Head of Practice-Based Research at the MMI. Those involved in the project are convinced that, with scientifically sound data, they can make a significant contribution to the upcoming political debate on joint custody. The first analyses are expected by the middle of next year. “This time, science is one step ahead of politics,” says Heidi Simoni with satisfaction. The Federal Supreme Court had to address the welfare of children twice this year. In a landmark ruling, it stipulated that in divorce proceedings, a child must be heard after reaching the age of six before judges decide on the allocation of parental custody. Previously, the age limit varied between ten and twelve years. The Federal Supreme Court also sent a clear signal regarding visitation rights: the child's welfare must always be the paramount consideration – any interests of the parents must take a back seat. The alienated child: Salgo proposes offering counseling and information services in schools as well. For parents contemplating divorce, he goes even further, advocating for mandatory state-run counseling, similar to the requirement in the US state of Florida for parents of children under 17 in cases of separation and divorce. "Sometimes I wish we had the church-run marriage counseling back, which used to emphasize the responsibilities of prospective parents," he concludes. Men who feel cheated out of their visitation rights are increasingly invoking an argument imported from the USA: PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome). This involves the accusation that the child is being alienated through conscious or unconscious manipulation by one parent, usually the mother: she tries to turn the child against the father, disregards visitation rights, or claims the child doesn't want to see the father. The father, in turn, often insists on "contact at any cost." In such a deadlocked situation, the controversial "exposure therapy," also originating in the USA, is sometimes employed. Photos of naked girls. His anxiety intensified when he learned that a former victim had sent the guardianship authorities photos of naked girls that Heinz P. had taken years earlier. "Since the report of endangerment in July 2004, the authorities have done nothing to protect my son," Stefan S. complains. Only after pressure from his lawyer did the authorities release the questionable photos of Heinz P. The fact that the statute of limitations has expired does not reassure S. “No acute danger” Stefan S. filed an appeal against the expert opinion: "To assess whether my son is at risk from contact with Heinz P., no child psychiatric evaluation is necessary." It would only place an unnecessary burden on his child and change nothing about P.'s past. The father and his lawyer cannot understand the guardianship authority's hesitant approach: "It would be cynical and irresponsible to wait until the child's physical integrity has already been violated to take action." While the mother obtained supervised visitation rights for the father of only one afternoon per month, even though there was no evidence against him, Heinz P. is allowed unrestricted contact with the child. Had there been even the slightest suspicion of sexual abuse against the biological father, the guardianship authorities would have immediately prohibited him from any contact with the child until the matter was clarified. "It's crazy," says Stefan S. *All names have been changed |
“Excluded and betrayed”: The amputee father "Daddy, we're not coming to you": The sidelined father "Our child is seriously ill": The demonized father Chantal Galladé: "Parents always remain parents, even after a divorce" |