Die Weltwoche, January 20, 2010. By Franziska K. Müller
Up to fifty percent of all domestic attacks are caused by women. The destructiveness has no consequences because the men prefer to hide their role as victims. And feminists cultivate the image of women as selfless saints who are incapable of violence.
A few weeks ago, a woman from Zurich wrecked her lover's car. The classic War of the Roses resulted in not only damage to the body but also one seriously injured person who was sitting at the steering wheel of the limousine. In Adliswil, a one-legged woman strangled her boyfriend two months ago. In Basel, a 52-year-old killed her partner with a knife in the leg, and in Bern, Edwald C. was admitted to the intensive care unit with life-threatening injuries after a coffee pot was smashed on his skull.
Rarely does female anger end in romantic relationships with the dead, but the list of physical attacks carried out by women goes on and on. In the canton of St. Gallen, 39 percent of all domestic violence attacks registered by the police were committed by women (2008), in Zurich it was around 25 percent. There are no figures for Switzerland as a whole, but the number of unreported female attacks that go unreported is estimated to be very high. Experts now assume that not only tens of thousands of women in Switzerland are abused by their partners every year, but - depending on the source - just as many men are affected.
Until now, it was believed that women resorted to violence to defend themselves against beating husbands and lovers. “The accepted cliché that women are always the victims and men are always the perpetrators is wrong,” says German social scientist Bastian Schwithal. As part of his dissertation (“Female violence in relationships”), the 33-year-old analyzed over a hundred international studies and came to the conclusion: “From Australia to Canada to South Africa: women are just as violent in relationships as men.” The following applies to German-speaking countries: Only in around a quarter of all attacks do women act in self-defense. In half of all assaults, both partners use violence. In 25 percent of cases, only women act violently, and the injuries are - contrary to what was previously assumed - not just harmless.
“Huge problem”
At the Zurich Victim Advisory Center for boys and men affected by violence, an increase in physical and psychological attacks by female partners has been observed for several years: the spectrum ranges from hitting, biting, boxing, scratching, hair-pulling to attempts at intimidation, death threats, Stalking at home and at work and damage to property. Knives and household items are mentioned as murder weapons. It's not about playing the two topics off against each other, says Bastian Schwithal. Recognizing the existence of female violence does not mean trivializing the importance of male violence. “But only through an honest comparison can strategies be developed that are long overdue given the huge problem,” says Schwithal.
Amusement and disbelief
There are dozens of institutions and internet platforms that want to provide advice to the abused men. “Assuming those affected admit that they occasionally get beaten at home,” says Oliver Hunziker, initiator of the first Swiss house for beaten men (“Zwüschehalt”). It opened at the beginning of December and should actually be bursting at the seams, says Hunziker, who also acts as president of the Association of Responsible Fathers and Mothers (VeV). But since the men don't want to own up to their problem, only one room has been temporarily occupied.
Flying espresso machines, years of sex deprivation and sophisticated psychological terror: “Most of those affected are ridiculed as jokers when they talk about the desolate conditions in their own four walls,” says Hunziker. Amusement among friends and expressions of displeasure from disbelieving police officers are common reactions when men talk about their ordeal. Hunziker receives desperate phone calls like the one shortly before Christmas almost every day: The shift worker reported that his wife had been pursuing him with aggressive behavior for months. If there is only a little money left in the household budget at the end of the month, there is no more food for him - whose entire wages go into her account. If he wanted to sleep during the day because he was returning from work at six o'clock, she would open the curtains, pull away the blanket and pour cold water over him. The attacks escalated when she threw a pair of wooden shoes at his head while he was sleeping. He jumped up in a rage, grabbed her by the wrists and shook her. Result? Three minutes later the police were at the house and he received a report of domestic violence.
Roland B. also came into conflict with the legislator after his African wife threw him into the street dust and knocked out two of his teeth. She told the police that she perceived his insults as a threat and defended herself. Since then, the previously blameless sociologist has not been allowed to approach his ex-wife or their son. Extreme examples? “Absolutely not,” says Hunziker. “The authorities are usually on the side of the supposedly weaker sex.”
Image of the oppressed woman
In recent years, more than a hundred research reports, empirical studies and comparative analyzes in criminological, sociological, psychological and medical journals have shown that violence in relationships comes equally from both partners. The studies agreed so clearly in their findings that experts no longer have any doubts about the situation. But although women's propensity for violence has been thoroughly researched since the 1980s and the female aggression potential, risk factors and consequences are known, there is a distorted image of female violence against men in society's perception.
The American psychologist Don Dutton has been studying the topic for decades. He sees the reason why the tons of facts have been swept under the carpet so far in the fact that the exercise of male violence was for a long time classified as a patriarchal privilege and thus supported the thesis of the oppressed woman. “All data and evidence that did not correspond to the gender-feminist ideology have been discarded, trivialized or explained away in the past decades,” says German generation researcher Gerhard Amendt from the University of Bremen. Result: “The topic is taboo in public and is largely ignored at the political level.” The woman as a selfless saint who is incapable of any aggression or violence corresponds to an outdated image that conservative feminism surprisingly likes to use when dealing with this unpleasant topic. “In this sense, sexually active women do not have to and are not allowed to take responsibility for their behavior because it is assumed per se that they are always helpless and innocent,” says Amendt. The battering women not only violate general norms and prevailing morality, but also the current gender order, according to which violence cannot be feminine. With dire consequences for women, the experts now agree: Due to decades of banalization, there is now a lack of diagnostics, counseling centers and specialized therapy options for women who perpetrate violence.
Reflection on the aggressive behavior does not take place, and the women do not necessarily dwell on having an overly bad conscience - as we know, the first step on the road to improvement. In an American study by Charles E. Corry and Martin S. Fiebert (“Controlling Domestic Violence Against Men,” 2002), participants were asked: “Why do you hit your partner?” The lighthearted answers were: “He never listens to me.” – “He ignores my needs.” – “I wanted to get his attention.” Australian women answered the same question succinctly: “Because he got on my nerves.”
The researchers wanted to know more precisely: “Are the women not afraid that those being tortured could defend themselves?” and: “Why do you think many men don’t fight back?” The answers were cunning. Almost a quarter of those surveyed answered: "Most men were raised in such a way that they were not allowed to hit girls: Seen in this way, the potential for danger is low." After all, 24 percent of women found: "Men can protect themselves against blows, and so I'm not afraid of hurting him if I beat him up." 13 percent even viewed their uncivilized behavior as a feminist action: “If women and men really want to be equal, women must be able to convert anger into physical aggression.”
“Men have themselves to blame”
The reasons why women fall out of control are as varied as the different forms of expression: The Swiss street worker Matthias L. fell victim to his young wife in mid-January. She accused him of removing a photograph from the bookcase. First he got a few headbutts, then she punched him in the face. When there were verbal death threats against his mother, the 26-year-old alerted the police. After being expelled from the apartment for six hours, the wife was allowed to return and the husband fled again. Switzerland giggled about this case. The survey prompted by the view (“Is the problem of hitting women underestimated?”) decided in favor of the women. “Men have themselves to blame,” was a frequently clicked answer. Oliver Hunziker doesn't find it funny at all. «The current situation of male victims is similar to that of raped and abused women thirty years ago. They too had to fight against slander and ignorance back then.”
Basically, the researchers assume that physical and psychological attacks occur across all classes and have little to do with level of education or income. Above all, young age, the type of relationship and the length of the relationship are risk factors for peaceful coexistence within your own four walls. Various studies have shown that most relationships in which both parties are involved are childless, have lasted less than five years and the partners in these relationships are under thirty. When women become physical, jealousy, the need for power and control, general frustration and stress are released. Gerhard Amendt: “The most common motives for violent acts are coercion, anger and the desire to punish the partner for bad behavior, especially infidelity.” Separation and divorce are considered to be particularly high risk factors for aggression in relationships (Corry/Fiebert, 2002).
Fear for the children
This results in a vicious circle. Oliver Hunziker observes that many men remain in violent relationships "because, knowing that they will usually lose out in custody disputes, they are afraid for their children and do not want to leave them alone." Swiss women also act in a multifaceted manner when it comes to psychological abuse: constant verbal attacks, the repeated humiliation of their partners in public, locking them up, but also deprivation of sex for months and false statements made to the police were all part of it, says Hunziker.
By definition, domestic violence includes two categories: physical and psychological injury. In both areas a distinction is made between mild, moderate and severe forms. Pushing, boxing, biting and kicking are – even internationally – the preferred methods of moderate punishment for women. The top priority, however, is to throw objects. A quarter of all men don't mind if ornaments and books fly around their ears every now and then. Assuming the objects miss their target.
However, women's marksmanship should not be underestimated; this also applies to the area of "murder weapons of all kinds", as noted in the American study by Corry/Fiebert. “If an argument is foreseeable, remove all throwing objects in the house in advance, and, important: Don’t forget to carefully hide weapons intended as wall decorations, such as shotguns, samurai swords or curved daggers,” is the practical advice from the experts.
Bastian Schwithal also concludes that women do not shy away from serious violent crimes. Worldwide, they hit just as hard as men, and even tend to brandish firearms around a little more often and injure their intimate partners with knives and projectiles. The entire kitchen area is considered the preferred combat zone, according to the former British women's shelter director Erin Pizzey in a study. The evidence chambers are piled high with coffee machines, blenders and pepper mills, wine bottles, rolling pins and frying pans that flew through the air or were used as tools. There are many dangers lurking between the refrigerator and the stove: scissors, meat mallet, hot water and boiling oil. Pizzey's strict advice to men at risk: "If the situation escalates, leave the kitchen immediately and under no circumstances enter the bedroom: unexpected attacks can occur there too."
“There is a need for action,” says Dori Schaer-Born, President of the Berne Commission for Equal Opportunities.
In the fourth violence report ("When women become violent: facts versus myths", 2006), the commission states that gender-dependent violence research in Switzerland must also break away from old perspectives and role concepts. “In the best case scenario, new images of femininity emerge that have nothing to do with common stereotypes. But the men affected also have to overcome their reluctance towards the unpleasant victim status and break their embarrassed silence," says Schaer-Born. In order to free the debate from mutual blame and to achieve constructive work, careful analyzes of previous developments and improved research are necessary in Switzerland. In addition, an adequate offer of help for violent partners must be created and the professional competence of the existing institutions for male victims of violence must be checked. The suggested investment in preventive services may also be worthwhile in view of the government costs caused by domestic violence: they are estimated at over 400 million francs annually across Switzerland.