Below we publish an open letter from a woman to Federal Councillor Sommaruga.
Dear Mrs. Sommaruga,
As a mother of three children, currently divorced with shared custody (the children live 50% of the time with each parent), as the partner of a divorced father of four children, a father of a child who stays with his children every other weekend, as a friend of several divorced fathers and a mentor to their children, as a kindergarten teacher, and as an active supporter and member of the Association for Responsible Fathers and Mothers, I am addressing you today regarding your decision:
Your decision strikes many fathers to the core and triggers pain, grief, despair, and anger.
Times have changed – just like our fathers! Laws exist to prevent injustice and to guide and protect us. They reflect our society and should demonstrate wisdom and humanity.
They are responsible for all people—not just women. Do you actually know how many fathers suffer under this legislation? Do you actually know how many children want both a father and a mother, but for them, there is only one mother? Do you actually know that this law causes so much unhappiness and suffering because it is clear from the beginning that the mother will bear the children?
Have you ever listened to these fathers? Do you know children from such divorced families, and do you know how much they suffer when they only see their fathers every second or third weekend? When they're not even allowed to talk to them on the phone during the week – because their mother forbids it? I'm aware that this is about interpersonal relationships, and those are always very complex and emotional.
But how can you call yourself a representative of the people when you overlook the growing injustice and injustice in our society? I know children who are slowly but surely being torn apart by the conflict and are developing coping mechanisms to "survive." The future looks bleak for our nation. Addressing these shortcomings will ultimately cost us far more than simply listening to them and their fathers. Many are desperate and are joining an anti-feminist campaign launched by the Swiss People's Party (SVP). In my view, these campaigners are merely exploiting their vulnerability to win them over to their own cause—returning women to the kitchen. This isn't about women versus men anymore. That only leads to polarization and can only result in renewed conflict and suffering. We are so much more than just men and women. There must be a better way, which is why I appeal to your common sense and to the healing power of femininity, which flows impersonally throughout the entire universe, encompassing us all. Children are our future, fathers suffer, and believe me, many have withdrawn from the fight precisely because they experience firsthand how much the children suffer. Yet they are so exposed to the mother's whims and often forced to endure.
Please talk to Oliver Hunziker. He is the president of the Association for Responsible Fathers and Mothers and a wise, maternal, and fatherly figure. I was so surprised when I met these men; I always thought of fathers who didn't want to pay and were happy if they didn't have to do child labor. But that's not the case at all—quite the opposite.
I myself have taken on a lot, precisely because I saw how much my children love and need their father, and how much their father, just like me, loves them and has the right and the dignity to care for his children. All these fathers are losing their dignity; they are changing. Because it seems as if mothers have forgotten their mothering skills.
If you would like to learn more about me, please watch the program "10vor10" from Wednesday, October 6, 2010.Sincerely
, Franziska Moser