Experts: “Men give up more quickly”
Fathers are not disadvantaged in divorces, but women act more skillfully, say experts - legal changes are still worth considering.
Are men really “massively oppressed” and their human rights curtailed when they divorce, as the FPÖ claims? No, say experts. However, men would give up the fight for divorce more quickly. Changes to the legal regulations are definitely worth considering. Not profitable for both "In principle, one cannot say that one gender is disadvantaged," reports divorce lawyer Alfred Kriegler from his 20 years of experience. But fathers have problems especially when it comes to exercising their visitation rights. “If the mother brings good arguments, it can be difficult,” said the lawyer. In his opinion, the ideal case would be the joint custody mentioned by the FPÖ, i.e. maintaining the rights and obligations for both parents. This has already been introduced, but in practice it is applied “rather half-heartedly”. The reason for this is that parents are allowed to have a say in decisions that affect the child, but do not have to. In any case, no one benefits economically from the divorce: "In fact, it is a poverty trap for both parties," warns the divorce lawyer. He believes a change in maintenance law is worth considering: "You have to ask yourself whether it is fair if, for example, fathers have to pay in full for children, even though they have joint custody." Winners and losers The change in the calculation of alimony demanded by the FPÖ should also be reconsidered. Currently, mothers' income is not taken into account - even if they earn more than fathers. “Of course, a change always creates a winner and a loser,” notes Kriegler. A gender difference that the lawyer has observed in his everyday professional life is "that women approach the divorce more calmly and go through with it more consistently." Men might talk a lot, but when things get serious they act more rashly. Legal framework exhausted Family researcher Irene Tazi-Preve has a similar view: "Men give up more quickly." In her book "Fathers on the Sidelines" she examined the reasons for breaking off contact with children after divorce. It is not possible to say generally whether one gender is preferred, and there are no statistics on this. In any case, she doesn't see any legal disadvantage for fathers. "Joint custody has already been implemented. More rights are basically not possible." Talking instead of arguing The real problem with divorce, in Tazi-Preve's opinion, is that relationship dramas affect the parents. "Men often don't want to pay and women want to break off contact." Legal changes are therefore not the solution. It would be better to support the parents in conflicts. “For this purpose, mediation must be used more intensively,” advises the family researcher. “Guys, talk to each other,” is the first thing Kriegler, who has published a “divorce guide for men,” advises his clients. In his opinion, marriages fail mainly because of a lack of communication. Also important: "Men must not give up their role as fathers - and mothers must let fathers be fathers too." (lis/derStandard.at, September 26, 2007) http://derstandard.at/?url=/?id=3050125