Experts: "Men give up more quickly"

Fathers are not disadvantaged in divorces, but women act more skillfully, say experts – legal changes are nevertheless worth considering.

Are men really "massively oppressed" and have their human rights curtailed in divorce proceedings, as the FPÖ claims? No, say experts. However, men are more likely to give up the fight for divorce. Changes to the legal regulations are certainly worth considering. fairto say that one gender is disadvantaged," says divorce lawyer Alfred Kriegler, drawing on his 20 years of experience. Fathers, however, face particular difficulties when it comes to exercising their visitation rights. "If the mother presents strong arguments, it can be difficult," the lawyer explains. In his opinion, the ideal scenario would be the joint custody advocated by the FPÖ, meaning the preservation of the rights and responsibilities of both parents. This has already been introduced, but in practice, it is applied "rather half-heartedly." The reason for this is that parents are allowed to participate in decisions concerning the child, but are not obligated to do so. In any case, no one benefits economically from divorce: "Rather, it's a poverty trap for both parties," warns the divorce lawyer. He believes a change to alimony law is worth considering: "One has to ask whether it's fair that, for example, fathers have to pay full child support even though they have joint custody." Winners and losers.The change to the calculation of alimony demanded by the FPÖ (Freedom Party of Austria) should also be reconsidered. Currently, the mothers' income is not taken into account – even if they earn more than the fathers. "Of course, a change always creates winners and losers," Kriegler notes. One gender difference the lawyer has observed in his professional life is "that women approach divorce more calmly and then pursue it more decisively." Men may talk a lot, but when things get serious, they act more rashly. Legal framework exhausted.Family researcher Irene Tazi-Preve sees it similarly: "Men give up more quickly." In her book "Fathers on the Sidelines," she examined the reasons for a breakdown in contact with children after divorce. Whether one gender is favored cannot be stated categorically, and besides, there are no statistics on this. She doesn't see any legal disadvantage for fathers, in any case. "Joint custody has already been enforced. More rights are basically impossible." Talking instead of arguing. According to Tazi-Preve, the real problem with divorces lies in the fact that relationship dramas affect the parenting relationship. "Men often don't want to pay child support, and women break off contact." Legal changes are therefore not the solution. It would be better to support parents in conflicts. "Mediation needs to be used more extensively for this," advises the family researcher. "People, talk to each other," is Kriegler's first piece of advice to his clients, who has published a "Divorce Guide for Men." Because in his opinion, marriages fail primarily due to a lack of communication. Also important: "Men must not give up their role as fathers – and mothers must let fathers be fathers." (lis/derStandard.at, September 26, 2007) http://derstandard.at/?url=/?id=3050125