Children of divorce – poor children?
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A divorce can become hell for the children if the pain of separation is accompanied by squabbles over custody. The parliament in Bern will decide this year whether this will have to be shared by the divorced in the future. Is a solution that is fair for parents also in the well-being of the children?
The National Council has decided that separated or divorced parents will share custody of their children in the future. In doing so, he follows the recommendation of the Federal Council and social development. But what happens to those who turn the custody issue into a proxy war? Can these be appeased by the new regulation, which will be discussed by the Council of States this year? Or does joint custody promote additional conflict because the quarreling parents now have to make all important decisions for the children together? And – how does all this affect the well-being of the children?
Mona Vetsch invites people with authentic experiences to her “Club” group.
Discussion guests
- Cheryl von Arx, child of divorce, author thesis about children of divorce
- Miriam Rosenthal, psychologist, mediator
- Reto Wehrli, lawyer, former National Councilor, submitted a postulate for joint parental custody in 2005
- Remo Largo, pediatrician, co-author of “Happy Children of Divorce”
- Oliver Hunziker, President of Responsible Fathers and Mothers (VeV)
Positions of the guests
- Cheryl von Arx: “As a 10-year-old, I simply accepted my parents’ separation. It didn't really bother me until years later. The divorce had an impact on me, also in a positive way.”
- Miriam Rosenthal-Rabner: “The rights of mothers and fathers dominate the political discussion, and the rights of the child are often neglected. Despite the divorce, she wants to be able to continue her relationship with both parents. The child’s world should become bigger, not smaller, after the parents separate.”
- Reto Wehrli: “Why is joint custody necessary as a rule? Children usually want contact with both parents, and this is also intended to prevent them from being involved or instrumentalized in their parents' conflicts in the event of separation or divorce.
- Remo Largo: “Child welfare is a parent’s duty. This also applies to a separation. We don't have to talk about parents' rights, but about their responsibilities."
- Oliver Hunziker: “A separation often overwhelms fathers and mothers. Divorce proceedings that are designed for winners and losers rather than for cooperation increase the conflict. Joint custody as the norm would strengthen the position of fathers and thus ensure a balanced starting position.
- Anna Hausherr: “When starting a family, fathers and mothers should think about what raising “together” means, not just when discussing custody.”