Die Weltwoche, January 20, 2010. By Franziska K. Müller
. Up to fifty percent of all domestic attacks are perpetrated by women. Their destructive rage goes unpunished, as men prefer to conceal their victimhood. And feminists perpetuate the image of women as selfless saints incapable of violence.
A few weeks ago, a woman from Zurich totaled her lover's car. The classic scenario in every bitter divorce resulted not only in car damage but also in serious injuries to the man behind the wheel. In Adliswil, a woman with one leg strangled her boyfriend two months ago. In Basel, a 52-year-old woman killed her partner with a stab wound to the leg, and in Bern, Edwald C. was rushed to intensive care with life-threatening injuries after a coffee pot was smashed over his skull.
Female anger in romantic relationships rarely ends in death, but the list of physical attacks perpetrated by women is endless. In the canton of St. Gallen, 39 percent of all police-registered domestic violence incidents were committed by women (2008), while in Zurich the figure was around 25 percent. Nationwide data is lacking, but the number of unreported attacks by women is estimated to be very high. Experts now assume that not only are tens of thousands of women abused by their partners in Switzerland each year, but – depending on the source – an equal number of men are also affected.
It was previously believed that women resorted to physical violence to defend themselves against abusive husbands and lovers. "The accepted cliché that women are always the victims and men always the perpetrators is wrong," says German social scientist Bastian Schwithal. In his dissertation ("Female Violence in Partnerships"), the 33-year-old analyzed over one hundred international studies and concluded: "From Australia to Canada to South Africa: women are just as violent in relationships as men." In German-speaking countries, the figures are as follows: women act in self-defense in only about a quarter of all assaults. In half of all assaults, both partners perpetrate violence. In 25 percent of cases, only the women act violently, and the injuries—contrary to previous assumptions—are not always minor.
"Huge problem"
The Zurich victim support center for boys and men affected by violence has observed an increase in physical and psychological abuse by female partners for several years. The spectrum ranges from hitting, biting, punching, scratching, and hair-pulling to intimidation, death threats, stalking at home and in the workplace, and property damage. Knives and household objects are cited as weapons. Bastian Schwithal emphasizes that the goal is not to pit the two issues against each other. Acknowledging the existence of female violence does not mean downplaying the significance of male violence. "But only through an honest comparison can strategies be developed that are long overdue given the enormous scale of the problem," Schwithal states.
Amusement and disbelief
While dozens of institutions and online platforms exist that aim to offer advice to abused men, "provided the men admit that they are occasionally beaten at home," says Oliver Hunziker, initiator of the first Swiss shelter for battered men ("Zwüschehalt"). It opened at the beginning of December and, according to Hunziker, who also serves as president of the Association of Responsible Parents (VeV), should be bursting at the seams. However, because the men are unwilling to acknowledge their problem, only one room has been temporarily occupied so far.
Flying espresso machines, years of sexual deprivation, and sophisticated psychological terror: "Most victims are ridiculed as caricatures when they talk about the deplorable conditions in their own homes," says Hunziker. Amusement among acquaintances and expressions of disapproval from incredulous police officers are common reactions when men recount their ordeal. Hunziker receives desperate calls like the one shortly before Christmas almost daily: The shift worker reported that his wife had been aggressively harassing him for months. If there was little money left at the end of the month, there was nothing left for him to eat—his entire wages went into her account. If he wanted to sleep during the day because he returned from work at six o'clock, she would throw open the curtains, pull off the covers, and douse him with cold water. The attacks escalated when she threw a pair of wooden shoes at his head while he slept. He jumped up in a rage, grabbed her wrists, and shook her. The result? Three minutes later the police were in the house, and he was charged with domestic violence.
Roland B. also ran afoul of the law after his African wife threw him forcefully into the street dust and knocked out two of his teeth. She told the police she perceived his insults as a threat and defended herself. Since then, the previously law-abiding sociologist is forbidden from approaching his ex-wife or their son. Extreme examples? "Not at all," says Hunziker. "The authorities usually side with the supposedly weaker sex."
Image of the oppressed woman
More than a hundred research reports, empirical studies, and comparative analyses in criminological, sociological, psychological, and medical journals have demonstrated in recent years that violence in relationships is perpetrated equally by both partners. The studies were so unanimous in their findings that the professional community no longer doubts this fact. However, although women's propensity for violence has been thoroughly researched since the 1980s, and the potential for female aggression, the risk factors, and the consequences are well-known, a distorted image of female violence against men persists in public perception.
American psychologist Don Dutton has been studying this topic for decades. He believes the reason why the weighty facts have been swept under the rug lies in the fact that male violence has long been categorized as a patriarchal privilege, thus supporting the thesis of the oppressed woman. "All data and evidence that didn't conform to gender-feminist ideology has been dismissed, trivialized, or talked down in recent decades," says German generational researcher Gerhard Amendt from the University of Bremen. The result: "The topic is taboo in the public sphere, and it is largely ignored at the political level." The image of women as selfless saints, incapable of aggression and violence, corresponds to an outdated picture that conservative feminism surprisingly readily employs when dealing with this uncomfortable subject. "In this sense, violent women are not required to take responsibility for their actions because it is assumed per se that they are always helpless and innocent," says Amendt. The women who commit violence are therefore not only violating universally accepted norms and prevailing morality, but also the existing gender order, according to which violence is not supposed to be feminine. Experts now agree that this has dire consequences for the women: due to decades of trivialization, there is a lack of diagnostic tools, counseling centers, and specialized therapy options for women who perpetrate violence.
Reflection on the aggressive behavior thus does not take place, and the women don't necessarily dwell on the guilt that is known to be the first step on the road to improvement. In an American study by Charles E. Corry and Martin S. Fiebert ("Controlling Domestic Violence Against Men," 2002), the participants were asked: "Why do you hit your partner?" The lighthearted answers were: "He never listens to me." – "He ignores my needs." – "I wanted to get his attention." Australian women answered the same question laconically: "Because he got on my nerves."
The researchers wanted to know more: "Aren't the women afraid that the abused women might defend themselves?" and "Why do you think many men don't hit back?" The answers were cunning. Almost a quarter of the respondents answered: "Most men were raised to believe they mustn't hit girls: So, from that perspective, the potential danger is low." At least 24 percent of the women felt: "Men can protect themselves from blows, and therefore I'm not afraid of hurting him if I beat him up." Thirteen percent even considered their uncivilized behavior a feminist act: "If women and men truly want to be equal, women must be able to channel anger into physical aggression."
"Men are to blame themselves."
The reasons why women lose control are as varied as the different forms of expression: Swiss road worker Matthias L. became a victim of his young wife in mid-January. She accused him of removing a photograph from the bookshelf. First, he received a few headbutts, then she punched him in the face. When verbal death threats against his mother followed, the 26-year-old alerted the police. After a six-hour restraining order, the wife was allowed to return, and the husband fled again. Switzerland snickered over this case. The subsequent survey initiated by the newspaper Blick ("Is the problem of domestic violence underestimated?") decided in favor of women. "Men are to blame themselves," was a frequently selected answer. Oliver Hunziker doesn't find it funny at all. "The current situation of male victims is similar to that of raped and abused women thirty years ago. They, too, had to fight against slander and ignorance back then."
Researchers generally assume that physical and psychological abuse occurs across all social classes and has little to do with education level or income. Above all, youth, the nature of the relationship, and its duration are risk factors for peaceful coexistence within one's own home. Various studies have shown that most relationships in which both partners resort to violence are childless, have lasted less than five years, and involve partners under thirty. When women become violent, jealousy, the need for power and control, general frustration, and stress are released. Gerhard Amendt states: "The most frequent motives for acts of violence are coercion, anger, and the desire to punish the partner for bad behavior, especially infidelity." Separation and divorce are considered particularly high risk factors for intimate partner aggression (Corry/Fiebert, 2002).
Fear for the children
This creates a vicious cycle. Oliver Hunziker observes that many men remain in abusive relationships "because, knowing they usually lose custody battles, they fear for their children and don't want to leave them alone." Swiss women also employ a variety of psychological abuse tactics: Hunziker says these include persistent verbal attacks, repeated public humiliation of their partner, confinement, months-long sexual deprivation, and false statements made to the police.
Domestic violence, by definition, encompasses two categories: physical and psychological harm. Within both categories, distinctions are made between mild, moderate, and severe forms. Pushing, punching, biting, and kicking are—internationally speaking—the most popular methods of moderate punishment used by women. However, the most common method is throwing objects. A quarter of all men see nothing wrong with having decorative items and books thrown at them now and then, provided the objects miss their target.
However, women's marksmanship should not be underestimated, and this also applies to "weapons of all kinds," as noted in the American study by Corry/Fiebert. "If an argument is foreseeable, remove all projectiles from the house beforehand, and, importantly: don't forget to carefully hide weapons intended as wall decorations, such as shotguns, samurai swords, or curved daggers," advise the experts.
Women don't shy away from serious violent crimes, Bastian Schwithal concludes. Worldwide, they strike just as hard as men, even tending to brandish firearms slightly more often and injuring their intimate partners with knives and projectiles. The entire kitchen area is considered a preferred battleground, as former British women's shelter director Erin Pizzey notes in a study. Coffee makers, blenders, pepper mills, wine bottles, rolling pins, and frying pans, which have been thrown through the air or used as weapons, are piled high in the evidence rooms. Many dangers lurk between the refrigerator and the stove: scissors, meat tenderizers, hot water, and boiling oil. Pizzey's stern advice to vulnerable men: "If the situation escalates, leave the kitchen immediately and under no circumstances enter the bedroom: because unforeseen attacks can occur there as well."
“Action is needed,” says Dori Schaer-Born, president of the Bernese expert commission for gender equality. In its fourth report on violence (“When Women Become Violent: Facts vs. Myths,” 2006), the commission states that gender-specific violence research in Switzerland must also break free from outdated perspectives and role models. “Ideally, new images of femininity will emerge that have nothing to do with the prevailing stereotypes. But the men affected must also overcome their aversion to the unwelcome victim status and break their embarrassed silence,” says Schaer-Born. To free the debate from mutual blame and move toward constructive work, Switzerland needs careful analyses of past developments and improvements in research. Furthermore, adequate support services for female perpetrators of violence must be established, and the professional competence of existing institutions for male victims of violence must be reviewed.
The proposed investment in preventive services may also be worthwhile in view of the state costs caused by domestic violence: these are estimated at over 400 million francs annually across Switzerland.