Obersee News, June 5, 2008
Fathers are fighting for joint custody in the newly
founded umbrella organization for shared parenting. GeCoBi stands for the Swiss Association for Shared Parenting. One father, who
has been fighting for joint custody of his children for years (as reported by the ON), hopes for legal equality between mothers and fathers soon.
Four years ago, the ON reported on Stephan Lichtin's (43) fight for joint custody of his two children (now 11 and 10 years old) from Tann. Lichtin had done everything, both personally and professionally, to be deemed a good father by the court. As a self-employed trustee and IT specialist, he had reduced his working hours to 60 percent just to have enough time for childcare. In 2001, the Bülach District Court courageously ruled in favor of joint custody
and determined that the children could live with Lichtin an average of three days a week. The mother was ordered to earn an additional 2,000 Swiss francs
per month to contribute to child support. However, it took a single appeal to the Zurich High Court for everything to be overturned. The court ruled that the mother should remain at home and devote herself fully to the children. "The difference in child support was then paid by the Zurich City Welfare Office," Lichtin explains. A mountain of paperwork, and nothing achieved: "Why are mothers so favored over fathers?" Lichtin's question is directed not only at society, but even more so at the legislature. Current Swiss practice is to place children in the care of only one parent upon separation. This deprives the other parent – usually the father, sometimes the mother – of parental rights. Joint custody, however, is still only
possible in Switzerland upon application by both parents. "But if the mother objects, the father usually has no recourse," the beleaguered father laments. He should know, because the mountain of paperwork documenting his seven-year divorce battle, "Lichtin versus Lichtin" – with decisions, claims, accusations, and anxieties – has now reached a considerable height. All for nothing; the outcome of the divorce is
deeply sobering for Lichtin: "The establishment of joint custody failed due to the mother's stubbornness."
Despite numerous attempts, she refused to agree to mediation and thus a joint solution. For Lichtin, the most shocking aspect is
that, as he puts it, his ex-wife is "even rewarded" by the justice system for this refusal. Not at the expense of his children
, Stephan Lichtin insists he is a good father and has fought in solidarity with many other affected fathers to finally bring about a fundamental change in the culture and practice of the courts in Switzerland. "I could have
avoided all these confrontations—with my ex-wife, the lawyers, the courts, child welfare services, and the police—and lived a comfortable life.
But I couldn't. I love my children, want to see them grow up, and be able to share in their upbringing."
To emphasize this, Stephan Lichtin moved from Tann to Zurich in 2005 to be closer to his children. He now lives in the same neighborhood, just one block away from their mother. He says this is ideal for the children. "They have two familiar homes and yet only one social environment." The children can meet up with their friends without a care, pursue their sports and music lessons, and do so without constantly having to wonder whether they are at their father's or mother's house. This, he says, is what he
understands by "truly lived shared parenting." He is convinced that disputes should never be fought out at the expense of the children. Solidarity is key to progress. This is also the goal of the Swiss Association for Shared Parenting (GeCoBi).
If parents cannot agree, both should assume 50 percent responsibility for childcare and upbringing. This would then be the starting point for negotiations if one parent is unwilling or unable to accept this 50 percent role. To push through this and other legislative changes, 13 of the most important fathers' and children's rights organizations from across Switzerland gathered on May 17th in Bern's Bundesplatz for a rally and to found their umbrella organization, www.GeCoBi.ch . With constructive
proposals, they aim, in particular, to put an end to the all-too-common bitter custody battles that often accompany separations. A key point:
Parents should only be admitted to court if they have made a genuine effort to reach an amicable settlement. This requires a level playing field for fathers and mothers. Stephan Lichtin: "While these fundamental principles have long been established in large parts of Europe, the divorce industry in Switzerland still struggles with them."
Verena Schoder