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FACTS 03/2006, January 19, 2006, Ruth Brüderlin, Contribution: Thomas Buomberger In custody battles, a growing number of women are accusing their partners of abusing their children. Regardless of whether the accusations are true, the consequences are devastating for both men and children. Legal experts are now calling for penalties for false accusations. |
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The photograph shows two bare, mottled children's legs and a date stamp in the upper right corner: July 14, 2003. The photograph is intended to be the undoing of a father. It is meant to bring about a decision in a bitter custody battle over their child, a case known as "The Ruben Case," which has gained notoriety far beyond the borders of Switzerland. Lucille Hunkeler, 30, the mother who disappeared with her son Ruben two years ago, provided the authorities with the photograph, along with a note written at the edge: "Ruben was very often brought to my home by his father, S. Bianchi, with bruises like these." The fugitive Lucille Hunkeler is wanted on an international warrant. Her supporters delivered the alleged piece of evidence to the authorities. “We have evidence, photos, and sworn witness statements proving that Ruben was abused by his father,” says Heidi Affolter-Eijsten, Hunkeler’s legal representative, who is making a renewed effort in the dramatic tug-of-war over the now six-year-old boy. A criminal complaint has been filed against Bianchi, and Affolter-Eijsten is already making her position clear: “Ruben must stay with his mother.” Whether the Hunkeler lobby’s tactics will succeed remains to be seen. But one thing is clear: in Ruben’s case, the heaviest weapon either side can deploy in the custody battle has now been brought into play. The mere suspicion of sexual abuse and violence against a child is considered a knockout blow.
In this respect, this case is no different from hundreds of other divorce proceedings that take place behind closed doors. Allegations of abuse in custody and divorce cases are currently experiencing a disastrous surge. Swiss guardianship authorities, courts, and counseling centers agree: such accusations are on the rise. Zurich judicial circles alone estimate a 40 percent increase in allegations of sexual abuse since 1995. How many of these accusations are actually true is not recorded in Switzerland. However, studies from abroad paint a clear picture. German legal scholar Burkard Schade, a professor at the University of Dortmund, compiled statistics based on 250 expert opinions. His conclusion: "We were unable to confirm the suspicion in less than ten percent of cases," Schade writes in a report.
In the bitter custody battle, mothers, even against their better judgment, are tempted to resort to this weapon – because it is ruthlessly effective: An accused father is only allowed supervised visits to his child from that moment on – or not at all. It can take up to two years until the accusation is investigated.
Accusation for tactical reasons
The issue is an emotional and ideological minefield. Interest groups of divorced men, such as the organization "Responsibly Raising Fathers VEV" or "Mannschaft," complain that the abuse accusation is raised almost reflexively for tactical reasons, and experts demand that the abuse of the abuse accusation itself should be a criminal offense. Every year, well over a thousand former spouses fight their way through all legal channels, and in the vast majority of cases, they are fighting for custody or visitation rights. The increasing inability of couples to separate amicably and with dignity harms the children, burdens law enforcement and the courts – and repeatedly plunges wrongly accused fathers into personal tragedy. DR*, 38, is accused of sexually abusing his daughter. His apartment is empty. Only the Bang & Olufsen stereo system and a few designer chairs remain in the living room. R. rests his hands on his knees and recounts the moment he saw three-year-old Tonia again for the first time after seven months of separation. "Look, Daddy!" “I called out.” R.’s voice breaks. The events have affected him so deeply that he has to compose himself to continue speaking.
As if he were dying on the spot
His ex-wife, B.*, 44, made the accusation when the family court judge asked her why she was denying the father any contact with their daughter. R. says he felt like he was dying on the spot: "The ground opened up beneath my feet." BR based her suspicion on the following: Daughter Tonia* touched her genitals while being changed, the girl wanted to be stroked all over her body, and wanted to receive French kisses. For the mother, it was clear that a small child couldn't possibly think of that on her own. While this circumstantial evidence didn't convince the family court judge, abuse and domestic violence are crimes that must be prosecuted ex officio, so the judge had to act: He commissioned an expert opinion from a child psychologist and immediately ordered supervised visitation. R. was only allowed to see Tonia for a few hours at a time and in the presence of a trusted person. This wasn't enough for the mother; despite the weak evidence, she filed a criminal complaint. Jean-Luc Rioult, head of the divorce section at the Zurich Bar Association, explains the increase in such reports with two main reasons: "There is greater awareness in society; the issue of child abuse is being discussed more openly, which is a good thing. At the same time, however, there is a certain hysteria." Rioult believes that in recent years, the topics of child abuse and pedophilia have been discussed so fervently in public that a sex offender is suspected behind every corner. Furthermore, certain lawyers are now suspected of practically encouraging their clients to look for evidence to file an abuse lawsuit. Divorce law expert Rioult defends his colleagues against this suspicion – but he has to admit: "Such a lawsuit strengthens the mother's position and secures her custody." On the morning of February 24, 2005, at 5:00 a.m., the St. Gallen cantonal police arrested Beat Z.*, 62. The suspicion here, too, was sexual acts with children. Seven officers led Zeller away in handcuffs, confiscating his computer, cell phone, video equipment, and photo albums. "I was stunned," says Z., "but I soon realized that this was another attempt by my ex to ruin me." The mechanical engineer has been embroiled in a bitter divorce battle with his wife Anna*, 38, since July 2000; she is from the Dominican Republic, works as a cabaret dancer, and brought three children into the marriage.
Three weeks in pretrial detention
The complaint was filed by one of these children. Stepdaughter Isabella*, 22, claimed that Z. had gotten into bed with her naked six years earlier and touched her intimately. The day before Isabella went to the police, she had a heated argument with her stepfather on the phone. Z. had complained once again that he could only see his biological daughter Nina*, 8, sporadically. "Isabella and I never get along," says Z. Yet, since her parents' separation, Isabella has been primarily responsible for her little sister Nina, especially at night when, as Zeller claims, their mother works as a prostitute. Z. spent three weeks in pretrial detention. Finally, all the witnesses had been questioned and the material from his apartment evaluated. The result: there was not a single piece of evidence of pedophilia. "Nevertheless, even after my release, the public prosecutor's office has forbidden me any contact," says Z. Until the proceedings are concluded—presumably in the fall—he is not allowed to see Nina. To make matters worse for Z., his wife Anna had already accused him of abusing Nina in 2000, the year they separated. The 28-page report from the Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Service concluded at the time that there were no signs of abuse. On the contrary, the report stated that the mother was barely able to perceive the child's needs and that a transfer of custody to the father should be considered. The renewed accusation devastated Z.'s entire existence. He moved away from the village where he had lived for thirty years. "The neighbors, of course, witnessed the police action." Z. had to be "rehabilitated" in a psychiatric clinic for several weeks. "The accusation of being a pedophile destroyed me both mentally and physically." Z. now receives disability benefits; the divorce hearing is scheduled for the end of February.
His initial demand for custody of Nina is likely now out of reach – following a child abuse case. Experts also see a need for action. Yvo Biderbost of the guardianship authority in the city of Zurich says: "We are aware that certain accusations are sometimes made for tactical reasons. We try to prevent one party from using them to stall for time." In a contentious divorce, time is a precious commodity: the longer children are not allowed to see their fathers, the greater the estrangement. The longer a child has settled into a particular environment, the less likely a divorce judge is to uproot them. "But it is not in the child's best interest to alienate them from their father," says Biderbost, "not even when such accusations are made." Lawyer Jean-Luc Rioult argues similarly: "The accusations stem from a fundamental problem: one parent wants to deny the other access." Regular contact with one's biological child must be respected as a legally protected right. Rioult calls for prison sentences for repeated and systematic obstruction of children's contact. "Every citizen must know: if I interfere with children's contact with the other parent, I risk punishment. Only then will this right of access truly be taken seriously." Such legal consequences would primarily affect women. In an estimated 80 percent of cases, it is the mother who uses every means at her disposal to sabotage visitation rights.
“I was afraid my daughter wouldn’t recognize me anymore,” says DR, “she was only three years old.” The first meeting after seven months finally took place in a children’s home specifically set up for such purposes. He asked the caregivers not to pressure Tonia if she didn’t want to speak to him voluntarily. When he entered the hallway, she was running from one playroom to another, stopped, and looked at him. Then she shouted, “Look, Daddy!” and ran towards him with open arms. The suspicion that a father’s love for his child also includes sexual interests usually creeps up on mothers gradually. It begins with “a vague unease,” says Vreny Schaller, head of the Child Protection Unit in Lucerne. “My experience is that when mothers finally voice their suspicions, they truly believe them and are convinced.” The more isolated a mother is during a separation, the greater the risk that she will become fixated on the idea of abuse and systematically search for evidence. "It no longer occurs to such a mother that there can be many reasons why a child behaves unusually after visitation or even complains of symptoms." A woman who knowingly makes a false accusation of abuse, says child protection advocate Schaller, exhibits "pathological traits"—but this is the exception. However, it is difficult to prove that a mother is guilty of misusing an accusation of abuse. Even if her suspicion cannot be substantiated, this does not necessarily mean that the mother acted maliciously. According to Schaller, the misuse of the accusation of abuse begins at the latest when a mother commissions one expert opinion after another, repeatedly subjecting her child to gynecological examinations and interviews. This procedure is an ordeal for any child, and the prosecuting authorities are forced to search for a chain of circumstantial evidence. Regula Schwager, a psychologist at the Castagna children's and women's shelter in Zurich, says: "A three-year-old can't say that Daddy put his 'snout' in his bottom. He might say that white spiders come out of Daddy's 'snout.' Or he might tell a story about a bear that comes at night and hurts him." But that's not enough for a court case. The suspicion of abuse is a huge burden, especially for the child. Strangers ask him strange questions, and suddenly he can't see his dad anymore—usually without even knowing why.
Children incited – but no punishment
Representatives of the Castagna victim support center vehemently oppose placing all female plaintiffs under general suspicion. "We experience the opposite: women don't raise well-founded suspicions of abuse precisely because they fear being accused of tactical behavior." Nevertheless, these cases do exist: lawyers repeatedly recount the story of the Zurich mother who was proven to have incited her children to draw their father urinating on them. She was not punished for this – due to diminished responsibility.
Nevertheless, the equation "devious women, defenseless men" is too simplistic. Whoever holds a trump card in a divorce battle will play it. Men are not better people than women; men often try to discredit their ex-wives with accusations.
For example, by accusing them of psychosis. The accusation of sexual abuse, however, is – for now – a purely female weapon. For years, Walter B.*, 42, from Basel, has been waging a bitter divorce battle with his fiery Peruvian estranged wife, Dolores*, 39. She regularly claims that he beats her; he denies any wrongdoing.
Just a few days ago, a criminal complaint landed in his mailbox: a fine of over 500 francs. He allegedly punched his wife in the stomach and slapped her on the head. As usual, she called the police. "Because she knows perfectly well that she can count on the support of the male officers and that a doctor's visit will be ordered," he says.
The medical report revealed a small hematoma on her forearm, which she "might have picked up somewhere." This time, the argument erupted when Bucher went to pick up his eight-year-old daughter, Sonja*, for the weekend. The mother hadn't packed suitable clothes. "It was raining, and I wanted to put together the essentials myself. That's when she went at me like a fury." Since this incident, he's only allowed to see his daughter accompanied by a trusted adult. But it's precisely his daughter who's proving stubborn and keeps spontaneously visiting her father on her own. B. feels unfairly treated—but he's at a loss as to how to refute the accusations. The mere fact that he has to provide evidence to the contrary infuriates him. "If my ex-wife screams for help out of the window, everyone assumes she really needs it. No one sees me standing in the doorway with my arms crossed." Once a suspicion is voiced, it's almost impossible to dispel. Especially not when a complaint has been filed. DR, Tonia's father, wanted to be transparent and informed his employer. The employer initially removed him from the "stressful firing line"—until last October. Then, after 20 years of service, R. was dismissed. "My performance was no longer satisfactory; a bank isn't a sheltered workshop." The proceedings against R. have now been dropped, and the restrictions on his visitation rights have been lifted. Most importantly, his ex-wife, B., has to pay 500 Swiss francs in court costs. This judicial reprimand has had an effect. Tonia, now seven years old, regularly visits her father and his new partner. Whether B.'s biological mother still fears that her daughter is threatened by her father, she declined to tell FACTS. R. tries to react calmly to provocations: "I don't argue anymore. The main thing is that I see my daughter."
*Name changed