Dr. Linda Nielsen is Professor of Adult and Developmental Psychology at Wake Forest University in North Carolina, USA. She has authored numerous research articles on shared parenting after separation and divorce and is frequently asked to report on her research by legislative committees and family court experts.
Translated from English at: https://ifstudies.org/blog/10-surprising-findings-on-shared-parenting-after-divorce-or-separation by Tim Walter, Hamburg.
What parenting arrangement is best for children after their parents separate or divorce?
Is it better for children to live primarily or exclusively with one parent in a single-parent setting (residence model) and to spend alternating smaller amounts of time with the other separated parent?
Or is the result better if you spend at least 35 percent of the time with each parent in a dual residence setting (note: also so-called 'alternative model')?
Is dual residency still beneficial if there is a persistent high level of conflict between parents?
Aren't dual residence settings actually only chosen by a narrow group of parents and are only suitable for those with higher incomes, lower conflicts and more cooperative relationships who mutually and voluntarily agree from the start to continue sharing their parenthood?
To answer these questions, I examined 54 studies that compared the development of children in dual residence and single-parent families - regardless of family income and parental conflict. In another recent study, I examined all studies for the two parent groups that compare conflict levels and the quality of the relationship between single-parent and dual-residence settings. Ten findings emerged from my research.
Many of them refute the common beliefs that today often lead to custody decisions and care arrangements that are not in the best interests of the child or contradict the best interests of the child:
- Aside from situations in which children needed protection from an abusive or neglectful parent even before their parents separated, in all 54 studies, children in dual-residence families had better developmental outcomes than children in families with a single-custody, single parent. Well-being criteria included: academic qualifications, emotional health (anxiety, depression, self-esteem, life satisfaction), behavioral problems (delinquency, school problems, bullying, drugs, alcohol, smoking), physical health, stress-related illnesses, and relationships with parents, stepparents, and grandparents.
- Infants and toddlers in dual-residence families do not have worse developmental outcomes than those in single-parent families. In these cases, sharing overnight periods between parents does not weaken young children's bond with the other parent.
- When parental conflict levels were taken into account, dual residence children still had better developmental outcomes across multiple well-being criteria. A high level of conflict did not outweigh the benefits associated with dual residency. Therefore, the better developmental outcomes of dual-residence children cannot be attributed to lower levels of parental conflict.
- Even when family income was taken into account, dual residence children still had better developmental outcomes. What's more, dual-residence parents were not significantly richer than single-parent family settings.
- Coparenting among dual-residence parents was generally not better and levels of conflict were not significantly lower than in single-parent families. The benefits associated with dual residency cannot be attributed to better co-parenting or lower levels of conflict.
- Most parents do not agree right from the start that their children will be cared for in a double residence together or even voluntarily. In the majority of cases, one parent initially opposed the care setting and only agreed to it after legal correspondence, mediation or court decisions. Nevertheless, even in these studies, children in dual residency still had better developmental outcomes than children in the residency model.
- When children are exposed to high, sustained levels of conflict from their parents - including physical violence - they do not have worse developmental outcomes in dual-residence families than in single-parent families. Involvement in high, sustained levels of conflict is just as harmful to children in dual-residence families as it is to children in single-parent settings.
- Maintaining strong bonds with both parents in dual-residence families counteracts the damage caused by high levels of parental conflict and weak co-parenting. Although dual residency does not prevent the negative impact of frequent confinement amidst high, ongoing conflict between divorced parents, it does have a reducing effect on child stress, anxiety, and depression.
- It is more likely that dual-residence parents practice "parallel parenting" apart from each other, at a sufficient distance , than "co-parenting" in which they work closely together, communicate often, interact regularly, coordinate household rules and routines, or try to share the same parenting style life.
- No study has shown that children whose parents are in high legal conflict or who resolve their parenting conflict in court have poorer developmental outcomes than children whose parents have less legal conflict and no parenting proceedings.
These findings debunk many of the common myths about co-parenting after separation and divorce. One example among many is a 2013 study from the University of Virginia that was reported in dozens of media outlets around the world, with frightening headlines like: “Sleeps Away From Mom Weaken Early Childhood Bonds.” The researchers announced in the official press release that their study was intended to provide guidance for judicial decisions on parenting arrangements for children under the age of four. In fact, the study is in no way applicable to the general population.
Participants were impoverished, poorly educated non-white parents who had never married or cohabited, often had prison careers, exhibited substance abuse and violence, and had children with different partners. Additionally, the study did not demonstrate clear relationships between sleepovers and children's attachments to their mothers.
My review of 54 studies of co-parenting after separation and divorce shows that regardless of parental conflict levels and family income, children in families with dual residency settings - excluding cases where children need protection from an abusive or neglectful parent - have better developmental outcomes across a variety of well-being measures as children in single-parent settings or single-parent families. Knowing and understanding these findings allows us to debunk some of the myths that surround co-parenting after separation and divorce to better serve the interests of the millions of children whose parents no longer live together.