Fathers who work full-time can also be good fathers, writes Margrit Stamm in the AZ.They can also share childcare responsibilities with the mother, as this work is defined not by quantity but by quality. Margrit Stamm rightly laments that the two models are often pitted against each other today. We completely agree with her on this point.
What must not be forgotten in this discussion, however, is that fathers who work full-time are regularly and reliably more or less banished from their children's lives when they separate from the mother, with reference to their full-time employment. They are reduced to the aspect of providing income, and their professional absence is interpreted as a lack of interest in the child and family. Forgotten are the hours the father spent caring for the children after work, forgotten are the weekends when he gave the mother a break. Forgotten are all the many small moments in which the father was there for his children and built a close and deep relationship with them.
In court, only working hours count, and anyone who worked full-time, or even a little more, should now stay out, because "he was never there before.".
Of course, there are also fathers who contribute nothing to raising their children except for providing the financial foundation.
But there are also the others, and in the event of separation, these men are automatically disqualified from their role as fathers solely based on their working hours.
So, if one is talking about playing the two models off against each other, then one would have to start here, with the courts and authorities that automatically make this distinction in the event of a separation.
We should stop reinforcing these simplistic and stereotypical gender roles. He works, she takes care of the house and child. Black and white, without nuance. As Margrit Stamm rightly points out, a family is also an economic unit, and as a rule, agreements about the division of labor were made jointly.
In such a situation, it would only be fair not to suddenly view these jointly agreed-upon rules as patriarchal oppression of women upon separation, but rather as what they are: mutual agreements. With separation, these mutual agreements end; they must be renegotiated openly and freely for both parties, naturally taking into account the needs of the children.
In this sense, thank you very much for your valuable input, Ms. Stamm.