Dr. Linda Nielsen is a professor of adult and developmental psychology at Wake Forest University in North Carolina, USA. She has authored numerous articles on research into shared parenting after separation and divorce and is frequently asked by legislative committees and family court experts to present her research.
Translated from the English version at: https://ifstudies.org/blog/10-surprising-findings-on-shared-parenting-after-divorce-or-separation by Tim Walter, Hamburg.
What parenting arrangement is best for children after their parents have separated or divorced?
Is it better for children to live primarily or exclusively with one parent in a single-parent setting (residence model) and to spend varying, smaller amounts of time with the other, separated parent?
Or is the result better if they spend at least 35 percent of their time with each parent in a shared residence setting (note: also known as 'alternating residence')?
Is shared custody still beneficial if there is a persistently high level of conflict between the parents?
Aren't shared parenting arrangements actually only chosen by a very limited group of parents and only suitable for those with higher incomes, fewer conflicts and more cooperative relationships, who mutually and voluntarily agree from the outset to continue sharing their parenting responsibilities?
To answer these questions, I examined 54 studies that compared the development of children in shared custody and single-parent families, regardless of family income or parental conflict. In another, more recent study, I examined all studies comparing conflict levels and the quality of the parent-child relationship between single-parent and shared custody settings. Ten key findings emerged from my research.
Many of these contradict the common beliefs that often lead to custody decisions and care arrangements today that are not in the best interests of the child or contradict the child's welfare:
- Apart from situations where children needed protection from an abusive or neglectful parent even before their parents separated, children in shared custody families had better developmental outcomes in all 54 studies than children in families with a single custodial parent. The well-being criteria included: academic achievement, emotional health (anxiety, depression, self-esteem, life satisfaction), behavioral problems (delinquency, school problems, bullying, drug, alcohol, smoking), physical health, stress-related illnesses, and relationships with parents, stepparents, and grandparents.
- Infants and toddlers in shared custody arrangements do not have worse developmental outcomes than those in single-parent families. In these cases, dividing overnight time between the parents does not weaken the bond between young children and the other parent.
- Even after adjusting for parental conflict levels, children in shared custody arrangements still showed better developmental outcomes across multiple well-being measures. A high level of conflict did not outweigh the benefits associated with shared custody. Therefore, the better developmental outcomes of children in shared custody arrangements cannot be attributed to a lower level of parental conflict.
- Even after taking family income into account, children in shared custody arrangements still had better developmental outcomes. Moreover, parents in shared custody arrangements were not significantly wealthier than those in single-parent families.
- Co-parenting among parents sharing custody was generally no better, and the level of conflict was not significantly lower than in single-parent families. The advantages associated with shared custody cannot be attributed to better co-parenting or a lower level of conflict.
- Most parents do not agree to shared custody of their children from the outset, either jointly or voluntarily. In the majority of cases, one parent initially resisted the custody arrangement and only agreed after legal correspondence, mediation, or court decisions. Nevertheless, even in these studies, children in shared custody arrangements still showed better developmental outcomes than children in the sole custody model.
- When children are exposed to a high, persistent level of conflict between their parents—including physical violence—they do not have worse developmental outcomes in shared custody families than in single-parent families. Involvement in a high, persistent level of conflict is just as harmful for children in shared custody families as it is for children in single-parent settings.
- Maintaining strong bonds with both parents in shared custody arrangements mitigates the harm caused by high levels of parental conflict and weak co-parenting. While shared custody does not prevent the negative impact of frequently being trapped amidst intense, ongoing conflict between divorced parents, it does reduce children's stress, anxiety, and depression.
- It is more likely that shared-residence parents will practice “parallel parenting” separately and at a sufficient distance from each other than “co-parenting” in which they work closely together, communicate often, interact regularly, coordinate household rules and routines, or try to live the same parenting style.
- No study has proven that children whose parents are involved in a high degree of legal conflict or who litigate their parental dispute in court have worse developmental outcomes than children whose parents have less legal conflict and no parental dispute proceedings.
These findings debunk many common myths about shared parenting after separation and divorce. One example among many is a 2013 University of Virginia study, which was reported in dozens of media outlets worldwide with alarming headlines such as: "Overnight Stays Away From Mom Weaken Early Childhood Bonds." The researchers stated in the official press release that their study was intended as a guideline for judicial decisions regarding parenting arrangements for children under four. In reality, the study is in no way applicable to the general population.
The participants were impoverished, poorly educated non-white parents who had never married or lived together, often had prison records, exhibited substance abuse and violence, and had children with multiple partners. Furthermore, the study found no clear correlation between sleepovers and children's attachment to their mothers.
My analysis of 54 studies on shared parenting after separation and divorce shows that, regardless of parental conflict levels and family income, children in shared-residence settings—excluding cases where children need protection from an abusive or neglectful parent—exhibit better developmental outcomes across a wide range of well-being criteria than children in single-parent or single-parent families. Understanding these findings allows us to debunk some of the myths surrounding shared parenting after separation and divorce, in order to better serve the interests of the millions of children whose parents no longer live together.